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When The Most Frightening Thing I Ever Imagined Happened

Posted by ミツコ (MITSUKO) on 02.2009 0 comments

On April 22, 1998, my late husband Frederic was
diagnosed with terminal colon cancer and told that
he might have less than six months to live.
He was only 43 years old. I was devastated
that the most frightening thing I ever imagined
was happening.

After my father died when I was eight, I never ever
wanted to be left behind. I used to tell Frederic that
I wanted to die before him; but when I heard the
doctor's diagnosis my ardent wish had to be swept
under the carpet.

Frederic lived his life to the fullest and passed away
peacefully after a one-year battle with cancer.
I did not have any regrets because I had done
everything that I could do. What I have learned
from the incident is that life goes on, even if my
beloved person is gone forever and I must live.

When the most frightening thing I could think of
really happened, it could have shattered me completely.
But it did not. Instead, I learned that it was my choice
how to react and how to face the reality.

When I overcame what I had been scared of,
I gained the deep confidence and assurance
that no matter what happens I would be all right.

Frederic used to tell me that FEAR stands for
"False Evidence Appears Real." Life is but a span,
and too short to be scared of such illusions.

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